I am changing..

Wow it has been awhile...March i mean come on alyssa...March?..i have truly been negelecting this blog but life is sonething interesting and i have never been the one to record everything in my life. which sucks because since March life has changed and how i felt about life and the people around me has drastically changed...drastically. I dunno i've just had to deal with some emotions i have never experienced before and did not know how to handle after losing my grandfather, a man that i always had great times, memorable times with. I guess i just had to cope with the fact that he is gone and i will never be able to see him again until we meet in heaven, God willing. I'm @ a crossroad of change and i'm afraid i will choose to be the same and not experience life to the fullest. I want to be like my grandfather when i get older and be able to have stories upon stories about my life, trials and tribulation, happiness and love. i want it all. i need it all. so as of today september 24, 2009 @ 1:40pm i have offically decided to LIVE MY LIFE as spontaneous, courageous, and loving as possible. i have to, or else why would God let me still be on this earth? ITS TIME TO LIVE!!!
Thank you lord!